I wannas sexs uuuuu
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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