We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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