This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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