I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's shark week go big or go home
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
