Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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