i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
