I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize