Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
