Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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