Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
