awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
