I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
