it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
