I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
