Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
