her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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