If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he fucked my hip out of place.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
