I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
