So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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