HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just want to make out with him forever
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
