I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
