He managed to light the Jello on fire...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
