Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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