I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
