Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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