I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
