She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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