she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
