i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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