Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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