I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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