PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
