I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
