What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
