Banned from zoo.
Again?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
