Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
