We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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