so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
