Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
