so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
