I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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