dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
