I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
my liver is dry heaving
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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