Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
