So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
