We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
