I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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