yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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