We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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