do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
