i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
