There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
