We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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