Can Purell be used as lube?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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